Tinnitus: Where Tangential Meets Balance

 

Reality by M. Sophia, pastel on Fabriano paper, 12" x 18", 2014

Reality by M. Sophia, pastel on Fabriano paper, 12″ x 18″, 2014

Tinnitus is a loud noise in the auditory cortex. It is a confusing, unpleasant sound, unwanted and disturbing with its random changes. The meaningless bits of undesired frequencies persist to frustrate anyone living with this condition. I knew very little about tinnitus until my Bodyscapes session with M. Sophie. A few of the words in her poem will remain in my ears, repeating the profoundly poetic rhythm of her poem.

listening to particles in contact–alive, awake, deep–a kiss in my hearing. 

M. Sophia’s Bodyscapes work, looking  in the dictionary and thesaurus, focused our attention to the act of hearing and perceiving. We hear tones and stimuli. We perceive to attain awareness of our consciousness and sensesM. Sophie reported she had lived with tinnitus for thirteen years. It started as the result of a car accident. “I have learned to live with it. It gets louder and crazier. Then, even louder. Crazier. Even crazier again. I do not have silence anymore. I have found a way to have solitude though. Solitude is a choice. In making that choice, I have a way to have quiet.”

 

 

 Surrender by M. Sophia

The awareness of several frequencies
existing now
in sound waves
persistent and alternating
where tangential meets balance
hand to hand.
Listening
to particles in contact
the power of realizations
alive and awake
enters deep
into my internal senses
as I observe a kiss
to my hearing.

Reality is a beautifully expressed drawing of Tinnitus from someone who knows it best. When we look at that drawing, we feel we can see, for the first time, Tinnitus as its different frequencies (the reds, blues and purples) fill M. Sophia’s head. The particles of sound are dotting and dashing around both inside and outside her head. All the words of her emotions are spiraling around with the sounds, the staccato beat of the static she hears.  Our awareness is drawn to the  central red spiral. It’s her inner ear. The spiral moves past the cheek of her profile and exits out her mouth. We hear the words of her poem:

Listening
to particles in contact
the power of realizations
alive and awake
enters deep
into my internal senses
as I observe a kiss
to my hearing

“My experience with Diane and the BodyScapes process was deep and revealing.  While I have come to terms with my ongoing tinnitus the writing part of the process allowed me to return to the feelings about it and release any unwanted or negative words about it and left me with a  beautiful poetic vision of my inner condition. Diane holds sacred space where I felt safely supported to explore the vulnerability I feel with the tinnitus”  

 The Red & Orange House relies on support from individual donors to maintain our work in hospitals and other healthcare facilities. Each gift brings another art-making experience to a patient’s bedside, their family sitting in a family surgical waiting room, a private home or a workshop. Donor benefits include a weekly subscription to our upcoming newsletter. You can share the powerful healing moments experienced by program participants and their families. 

The Red & Orange House is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization; all gifts are tax-deductible to the extent allowable by law. 

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